


Escape

by ehvul_butterfly (summerbutterfly)



Series: The Best of Advent 2010 [6]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Advent Challenge 2010, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-14 07:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbutterfly/pseuds/ehvul_butterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you like Pina Coladas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elle_Marchpane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Marchpane/gifts).



> The prompt I received was: _Byakuya,Hanataro:Loooooooooong, uncomfortable elevator ride. Muted elevator music should make an appearance._
> 
> This is the result.

Hanataro Yamada had a knack for getting himself into awkward situations. This, however, had to be one of the most awkward situations of all time. He was stuck in an elevator with Byakuya Kuchiki, the richest and most notorious captain in the whole of the Gotei 13, and Byakuya was essentially pretending Hanataro didn’t exist.

To say Hanataro felt out of place would have been a bankai-sized understatement.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know Captain Kuchiki. He’d actually dealt with him on several occasions, the most recent being in Hueco Mundo when the captain was severely injured and Hanataro had attempted to offer his services. But the captain wasn’t someone Hanataro would consider a friend. He was more like the world’s most intimidating work colleague who tolerated Hanataro’s presence only because he respected Captain Unohana more than he despised her subordinates.

Knowing that, however, didn’t make current situation any less uncomfortable.

Hanataro pressed himself up against the elevator’s sleek metal wall and tried to be patient. For whatever reason (probably his extreme discomfort) the ride today seemed to be taking much longer than usual. So to distract himself, he tried focusing on the little numbers that lit up every time they passed a floor. But the flickers and dings were so far apart that waiting for them only seemed to make him antsier. So he switched tactics, focusing instead on the muted background music that filtered through the overhead speaker.

He knew (because he asked one time- when he was in here with someone far less intimidating than Byakuya Kuchiki) that the musical choices the elevator played were adaptations of living world songs reworked by the lieutenant of Squad 9. Lieutenant Hisagi’s knowledge of living world music was reputed to be pretty extensive, as he’d been taking guitar lessons with that large, silent ryoka friend of Ichigo Kurosaki’s.

Hanataro was not musical himself, nor had he spent enough time in the living world to be very acquainted with its music. However, by some strange coincidence, the song piping into the elevator at the exact moment of his discontent was one that he _was_ familiar with. In his brief time working at the convenience store with Ganju, he’d heard this song over and over and over again because Ganju had really, really liked it.

Without even realizing, he began to sing along. _”If you like pita salada...”_

Captain Kuchiki’s cold grey eyes slid in Hantaro’s direction. Hanataro’s jaw snapped shut. For a long moment, the two of them just stared at each other. Then, Captain Kuchiki spoke.

“What. Are you doing.”

It wasn’t a question. Hanataro forced himself to swallow past the lump in his throat and mustered up a reply.

“S...sorry, Captain Kuchiki. I...I just recognized this song a..and I just started singing. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Captain Kuchiki continued to look at Hanataro in a way that made Hanataro wish the floor might open up and swallow him whole. Captain Kuchiki was nothing if not intimidating. Hanataro wondered how Lieutenant Abarai withstood such withering glances on a daily basis.

At last, Captain Kuchiki spoke again. “I’m not disturbed by your singing,” he said. “I’m disturbed by your lyric choice. What in the great name of the Soul King is a ‘pita salada'?"

Hanataro blinked, completely unprepared for such a question. “I...I don’t know,” he said. “That’s just what Ganju-san used to sing.”

“Tch.” Captain Kuchiki tossed his long, dark hair over his shoulder. “Ganju-san is obviously even more foolish than he first appears. The line is ‘if you like Pina Coladas’ not ‘if you like pita salada’.”

Hanataro blinked again, having no idea how to respond to this assertion. “What’s a Pina Colada?” he asked at length.

“I don’t know,” Captain Kuchiki said. “I just know that’s how the song goes.”

“How did you...”

“We’re done with the questions.”

“Y...yes, sir.”

Hanataro returned to his pose of silence. Captain Kuchiki returned to looking bored and irritated. However, two floors before they finally ( _finally_ ) reached their destination, Hanataro caught a new sound, something only slightly louder than the music still wafting from the speaker. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked over at the Captain. Sure enough, Captain Kuchiki’s lips were moving, mumbling something that sounded very much like, “ _If you like Pina Coladas...and getting caught in the rain..._ ”


End file.
